I Should Start Somewhere

Welcome all to the Blog of the Czar. I'm still Martles the Great so don't be fooled by imitators. But as some of you have read from other blogs that Martles the Great will be referred to as The Czar. As not to make anymore confusion. Martles the Great and The Czar are the same man. Now that we have that out of the way I'd like to write what's been recently going on in the old dome.

I left my house this morning to make a doctor's appointment which was hopefully the last one. My stitches were removed from my hand and returning to work is just around the corner. For those of you who have never read anything I've written I'll quickly bring you up to speed. About a month and a half ago I injured my right hand on the job and have been living it up on workman's compensation. By the way I'd like to interject in my own blog to inform you that I'm tired of abbreviating everything, with the exception of PS and FU. PS I believe stands for Post Script (correct me if I'm wrong) and FU is simply Fuck You. That said let's get back to what I was talking about. My hand was sliced open from my lack of depth perception at the time on a silly real estate sign I was installing for work. Little did I know my hand was that close on my downstroke and one thing lead to another, ground pound, hand sliced, blood. The best part of it was I didn't even know I sliced my hand until I noticed the glove was cut. I looked into the cut of the glove to notice gushing blood. Ouch I know (I was there) but at the time shock mixed with adrenaline and the tenacity of work had allowed my brain to neglect the fact that it should be processing pain. You should be getting this now, severed tendon, surgery, stitches, hot nurses, bandages and 60% of my income mailed to me while I sat at home duped up on painkillers and boredom. Today those stitches were removed and normality can be restored. Hopefully.

Moving on to a series of random sentences that form no paragraph whatsoever but are relevant to the fact that there is a lot going on upstairs. In fact, I've decided to make these statements bullets so each one is separate and allowed equal view.

Women are ridiculous. 

I smoke too many cigarettes. 

My Ipod finally broke. 

I don't have a car. 

It's too cold to ride my bike. 

Dammit. 

Okkervil River is amazing. 

Neutral Milk Hotel's "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" is even better than I imagined on vinyl. 

Futurama needs to come back on the air. 

South Park is a breath of comedic genius. 

I miss Heath Ledger.

Family Guy is funny but I don't find myself wanting to watch it

How do I tell her that I want her to be with me?

Al Pacino needs a better agent, or at least one who knows how to say no. 

Matthew McConaughey is on my shit list. 

Fuck Shit Ass Cock Balls is one swear word.

I need to go to school.

Good guitars are expensive.

What happened to the season fall?

That's just what has been going on since I woke up today. It's brief but it's a good indicator of the fucked up thought process I have been blessed with. My brain is like a Macintosh, smart, efficient, reliable and capable of wonderfully processing films and music. I should let you know my brain comes with some complications and are quite similar to those of a personal computer. I could say PC but I told you earlier I hate that. I'll be adding PC to the excluded list. Viruses and altered programming mixed with outdated processors and little to no random access memory if we're just naming a few. I don't have anyway to end this so I'll let you envision me with my head in my hands and sighing...

I have a lot on my plate as of yet. I've been out of work for a month and a half and I can still rack them up like it's nobody's business. I currently have two jobs and I'm about ready to  lower that number to one. 

Workman's Compensation has taught me a few things : 

1. Getting paid to sit at home is nice but becomes boring fast when you only have one hand.

2. It allows you the time to think things over in your life.

3. People still call you from work to ask you silly questions they know the answers to.

4. Iowa is a cool place. I miss Wes and Christinia.

5. Nate Crippes is a great friend.

6. You lose your bar shifts if you get injured at your other job.

I'm done talking about my hand. I just realized how fun it is to make lists of things that randomly pop into my head. I can't concentrate anymore because my head is starting to get clogged again. I need to quit my other job so if you have any suggestions as to how I can do that without looking like an asshole please let me know. I get ahead of myself constantly which could in turn contribute to my current state of being.

Have a nice day and thanks for reading,

-Martles